I had my HSG test on Friday. and honestly it wasn't as bad as I was planning on it being. Yes it was very uncomfortable and awkward with a male doctor all up in my business. But it was really cool. I was able to watch the fluid flow through my uterus and Fallopian tubes on the xray screen they had in the room. Honestly modern technology just amazes me. I had no idea that my Fallopian tubes were like the size of strings. It was amazing to see.
The doctor told me right then that my tubes looked great and that he didn't see any blockages in my tubes and that everything looks great. I have to wait till the end of the week to get the official results but from what he told me everything looks great.
I have one more blood test I have to take in a couple of days and that will be the end of my testings. Then its Hubby's turn to get tested!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Feelings
I realized today after going through some of my posts that I haven't really stated my feelings on this whole situation of infertility testing.
so here goes... I am scared out of my mind as to what the outcome of these tests could be. I am good at hiding my emotions. I don't show people very often my true feelings. I am scared to death of my test tomorrow. I am afraid of what they might or might not find. I really am ready for the answers. I really want to know why getting pregnant is taking so long.
I have been thinking a lot about the different situations that can result from these tests and what my options are. and I think I am okay with most of them except for the one where they tell me I can't have kids. But I am really trying to not think about that one. Its my biggest fear in the entire world. Even more scary to me than Bears and Sharks and thats HUGE if you know me!
I know adoption is an amazing thing but more than anything I want to have a life grow inside me to feel it move and hear the heart beat and have that special 9 months of bonding with the little life that Deric and I created. I will get pricked and have uncomfortable tests just to have that 9 months!
I check my email almost every 10 minutes just to see if the doctor has updated my test results. I really have been hoping that they would find something in my blood work that could explain it all, but they haven't sent me my results yet, which really is about to drive me insane! The second I get them I will for sure post! I am super anxious, scared, emotional, upset and excited for this whole journey. I am so ready to figure this out but then again scared out of mind!
so here goes... I am scared out of my mind as to what the outcome of these tests could be. I am good at hiding my emotions. I don't show people very often my true feelings. I am scared to death of my test tomorrow. I am afraid of what they might or might not find. I really am ready for the answers. I really want to know why getting pregnant is taking so long.
I have been thinking a lot about the different situations that can result from these tests and what my options are. and I think I am okay with most of them except for the one where they tell me I can't have kids. But I am really trying to not think about that one. Its my biggest fear in the entire world. Even more scary to me than Bears and Sharks and thats HUGE if you know me!
I know adoption is an amazing thing but more than anything I want to have a life grow inside me to feel it move and hear the heart beat and have that special 9 months of bonding with the little life that Deric and I created. I will get pricked and have uncomfortable tests just to have that 9 months!
I check my email almost every 10 minutes just to see if the doctor has updated my test results. I really have been hoping that they would find something in my blood work that could explain it all, but they haven't sent me my results yet, which really is about to drive me insane! The second I get them I will for sure post! I am super anxious, scared, emotional, upset and excited for this whole journey. I am so ready to figure this out but then again scared out of mind!
Friday, May 20, 2011
TMI part 3
Today I have my blood work!!! I have been doing a lot of research to find out exactly what all these tests do. So here is my hard work results!!!
FHS-Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) is a hormone found in humans and other animals. It is synthesized and secreted by gonadotrophs of the anterior pituitary gland. FSH regulates the development, growth, pubertal maturation, and reproductive processes of the body. FSH and Luteinizing hormone (LH) act synergistically in reproduction.
FHS-Follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) is a hormone found in humans and other animals. It is synthesized and secreted by gonadotrophs of the anterior pituitary gland. FSH regulates the development, growth, pubertal maturation, and reproductive processes of the body. FSH and Luteinizing hormone (LH) act synergistically in reproduction.
Estradiol-6 is a hormone that is naturally produced. It is a sex hormone. They will check to make sure my levels are in normal range.
Prolactin-Increased prolactin levels can interfere with ovulation. They may also indicate further testing (MRI) should be done to check for a pituitary tumor. Some women with PCOS also have hyperprolactinemia
TSH 3rd generation- A high level of TSH combined with a low or normal T4 level generally indicates hypothyroidism, which can have an effect on fertility.
Testosterone-FREE- I had NO idea that women had testosterone. They will be checking the levels in my body!
Hemoglobain a1c- just to check my blood sugar levels!
I go in later this afternoon. Hopefully I will have the test results back soon!
Next week is my very uncomfortable HSG test. Not looking forward to it, but really getting anxious to get some answers!!!!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
TMI part 2 and a little update!
I got my test results back from my physical exam that I had last week, and everything was normal!
I go in tomorrow for my blood work and then a couple days after that I have my very unfun HSG test.
Update:
Deric and I have decided that we no longer will be moving to Spokane, Instead we will be moving only 5 hours away from California to Phoenix Arizona. We are very excited for the move and have started looking for places to live and have taken a lot of trips to find the right place! This decision had been kinda hard for me since I already had a job in Spokane. But it means that we will only be in school for 5 years having to pay only 1 year out of pocket instead of 4!!! It will be huge for us and the School looks AMAZING! We are going over in a couple more weeks to look for a house, deric will take a few tests to get into the community college over there and I will start looking for a job! We are excited to be living in Arizona, getting to know family better down there and starting a life for ourselves!!!
I go in tomorrow for my blood work and then a couple days after that I have my very unfun HSG test.
Update:
Deric and I have decided that we no longer will be moving to Spokane, Instead we will be moving only 5 hours away from California to Phoenix Arizona. We are very excited for the move and have started looking for places to live and have taken a lot of trips to find the right place! This decision had been kinda hard for me since I already had a job in Spokane. But it means that we will only be in school for 5 years having to pay only 1 year out of pocket instead of 4!!! It will be huge for us and the School looks AMAZING! We are going over in a couple more weeks to look for a house, deric will take a few tests to get into the community college over there and I will start looking for a job! We are excited to be living in Arizona, getting to know family better down there and starting a life for ourselves!!!
Friday, May 13, 2011
Roy Eldon Marsh. May 27th 1933- May 10th 2011
I have been dreading this post for a couple of days now. Afraid i wont get across all my thoughts correctly.
The song Seasons of Love from Rent keep coming to my mind. Most the line about how we measure a persons life. The song continues to say that we measure a persons life in daylights in sunsets and in the way that they loved. I have been thinking a lot about that this past week. Birth and Death.
I personally have never had to deal with the passing on of a family member before. So I am very sorry if everything feels a little jumbled up.
My grandpa passed away late Tuesday night in his sleep. It hasn’t officially sunk in yet.I think that me not being in Spokane to witness everything first hand as a factor in it feeling surreal.
I'm not 100% sure how to feel. I'm glad he isn’t in pain anymore but I'm at a loss of words as how to correctly portray the sorrow I feel at not having him on this earth anymore.
In one of my last posts I wrote a lot about my grandpa and the amazing man that he was. Words don’t do that amazing man justice.
I loved my grandpa a lot and am missing him dearly. The funeral is on Monday and i am excited to honor him that way he deserves. and hear many amazing and funny stories about how wonderful he was on so many different levels.
TMI
First off, I wrote this amazing post yesterday and darn blogger lost it! I am so upset! This week has not been the best on record by far!
Sorry if my next couple of posts seem a little TMI (too much information) for most, but I need a place to record what is going on in life and my infertility is what is going on in life!!! besides the other million things that are going on as well.
I finally went to an AMAZING OBGYN on Tuesday to start figuring out why Deric and I can not seem to get pregnant.
Lets start with a little background history first.
Deric and I have been trying to have a little Molner for the past 2 years. and NOTHING has happened. I figured that we would try for a couple months and bam I would be pregnant and everything would be handy dandy. Not the case! After about 6 months of trying to get pregnant I really started getting concerned. It seemed like everyone in my family and Derics gets pregnant right away or without even really trying. So when we weren't getting pregnant it was super frustrating. Everyone would tell me just to relax and it will happen when you are least expecting it. REALLY? How can I not freak out that im not getting pregnant and everyone else around me is! August of 2010 we decided that we would just adopt. We got all the paper work, started filling everything out, I started following a couple awesome blogs about the process of adoption through LDSFS and I talked to a lot of people about the process and the pro's and con's. We were pretty set on starting the whole adoption process until we realized that once Deric was out of the Marine Corps of August of 2011 we would have to resubmit paper work and go through the whole process again since we would be moving to a new area. So we decided that we would hold off on adoption for now and wait until we get settled again in August. In the mean time I have been thinking a lot about our options and since we still are in the military we need to use the benefits we have and figure this out.
A couple weeks ago I was talking to my amazingly beautiful friend Elisabeth and she told me a little secret that she was a couple weeks pregnant with their 2nd baby. While I couldn't have been MORE excited for her, Tyler and big brother Luke, I was a little sad and frustrated that I couldn't tell her some exciting news. Watching my friends have more babies and hold their new born babies has really made it hard on me to not want to figure this wholes situation out. She gave me the name to her new OBGYN Dr, Howe. While her and I were still texting back and forth I called and made an appointment to figure everything out. I am so glad I did.
okay back to this week. I went on Tuesday and had an amazing discussion with Dr. Howe on all of the possibilities of infertility. She is excited to help me figure everything out. There is going to be a LOT of doctors visits and a lot of uncomfortable tests that I am sure I wont like, but in the end it will all be worth it so that we can have little munchkins that look like us running around the house! and really that's all I have ever wanted since I can remember!
Hopefully next week I will have more updates on test results. Well just about every week I should have updates on tests results!!!
Sorry if my next couple of posts seem a little TMI (too much information) for most, but I need a place to record what is going on in life and my infertility is what is going on in life!!! besides the other million things that are going on as well.
I finally went to an AMAZING OBGYN on Tuesday to start figuring out why Deric and I can not seem to get pregnant.
Lets start with a little background history first.
Deric and I have been trying to have a little Molner for the past 2 years. and NOTHING has happened. I figured that we would try for a couple months and bam I would be pregnant and everything would be handy dandy. Not the case! After about 6 months of trying to get pregnant I really started getting concerned. It seemed like everyone in my family and Derics gets pregnant right away or without even really trying. So when we weren't getting pregnant it was super frustrating. Everyone would tell me just to relax and it will happen when you are least expecting it. REALLY? How can I not freak out that im not getting pregnant and everyone else around me is! August of 2010 we decided that we would just adopt. We got all the paper work, started filling everything out, I started following a couple awesome blogs about the process of adoption through LDSFS and I talked to a lot of people about the process and the pro's and con's. We were pretty set on starting the whole adoption process until we realized that once Deric was out of the Marine Corps of August of 2011 we would have to resubmit paper work and go through the whole process again since we would be moving to a new area. So we decided that we would hold off on adoption for now and wait until we get settled again in August. In the mean time I have been thinking a lot about our options and since we still are in the military we need to use the benefits we have and figure this out.
A couple weeks ago I was talking to my amazingly beautiful friend Elisabeth and she told me a little secret that she was a couple weeks pregnant with their 2nd baby. While I couldn't have been MORE excited for her, Tyler and big brother Luke, I was a little sad and frustrated that I couldn't tell her some exciting news. Watching my friends have more babies and hold their new born babies has really made it hard on me to not want to figure this wholes situation out. She gave me the name to her new OBGYN Dr, Howe. While her and I were still texting back and forth I called and made an appointment to figure everything out. I am so glad I did.
okay back to this week. I went on Tuesday and had an amazing discussion with Dr. Howe on all of the possibilities of infertility. She is excited to help me figure everything out. There is going to be a LOT of doctors visits and a lot of uncomfortable tests that I am sure I wont like, but in the end it will all be worth it so that we can have little munchkins that look like us running around the house! and really that's all I have ever wanted since I can remember!
Hopefully next week I will have more updates on test results. Well just about every week I should have updates on tests results!!!
Friday, April 29, 2011
catching up
You know its sad when your husband asks you what the last post was on your blog, that he doesn't read. and what better time to update then sitting in the car on our way to Arizona for the weekend.
A lot has happened in the past month. We were looking at the calendar last night and realized that we haven't really had a calm weekend all month long.
We started April out in Spokane visiting our family. It was a very nice trip. we spent a lot of time up visiting with my grandparents. My grandpa is doing so well! It made me so happy and calm to see him and talk with him. I got a lot of information out of him in a short period of time. Learned a lot about the cars my grandparents drove, and about my grandpa's army days.
One way cool story. My grandpa bought a motorcycle in 1952 from a Bobby Ocheltree. Ocheltree just happens to be my mother in laws maiden name. After some asking around we found out that my grandpa bought that motorcycle from derics grandpa's cousin. kinda random but totally cool that our family's crossed so long ago!
We also celebrated Derics 24th birthday!!! He is finally the same age as me and can't rub it in as much! I surprised him with golfing with his buddies! He loved it and then on his actual birthday we went to Disneyland and ate the blue bayou! The blue bayou is inside the pirates of the Caribbean ride and we got to sit right by the water! totally worth the money oh and the food was so good. But it might have been the fact that I hadn't had a steak in a year.
My best friend from growing up stayed a couple days with us. It was SOOO much fun to catch up and talk about the good ole days of forts, and her mom ripping my tooth out, or me getting sprayed by a skunk at her house!
My sister in law and 2 nieces came to stay for a couple days also. My niece Natalie turned 9 back in March and wanted to go to the American Girl store in LA for her birthday! It was so nice to have them at our house, and Diesel LOVED the attention from the girls!!
We are on our way to Arizona to spend the 2nd weekend in a row with Derics biological Grandpa. It was a lot of fun last weekend to spend time with them. It was my first time actually spending more than 5 minutes with them! Diesel is in heaven at their house! They also have 2 little dogs that he loves to play with and annoy! Grandpa Al bought a new york style hot dog stand and sells them at big events and every weekday at a corner in the Maricopa area. We are going this weekend to help him sell them at the Salsa Festival in Maricopa,AZ. There will be upwards of 12,000 people. It will be pretty dang crazy but we are super excited to spend time with them and sell some dogs!!!!!
A lot has happened in the past month. We were looking at the calendar last night and realized that we haven't really had a calm weekend all month long.
We started April out in Spokane visiting our family. It was a very nice trip. we spent a lot of time up visiting with my grandparents. My grandpa is doing so well! It made me so happy and calm to see him and talk with him. I got a lot of information out of him in a short period of time. Learned a lot about the cars my grandparents drove, and about my grandpa's army days.
One way cool story. My grandpa bought a motorcycle in 1952 from a Bobby Ocheltree. Ocheltree just happens to be my mother in laws maiden name. After some asking around we found out that my grandpa bought that motorcycle from derics grandpa's cousin. kinda random but totally cool that our family's crossed so long ago!
We also celebrated Derics 24th birthday!!! He is finally the same age as me and can't rub it in as much! I surprised him with golfing with his buddies! He loved it and then on his actual birthday we went to Disneyland and ate the blue bayou! The blue bayou is inside the pirates of the Caribbean ride and we got to sit right by the water! totally worth the money oh and the food was so good. But it might have been the fact that I hadn't had a steak in a year.
My best friend from growing up stayed a couple days with us. It was SOOO much fun to catch up and talk about the good ole days of forts, and her mom ripping my tooth out, or me getting sprayed by a skunk at her house!
My sister in law and 2 nieces came to stay for a couple days also. My niece Natalie turned 9 back in March and wanted to go to the American Girl store in LA for her birthday! It was so nice to have them at our house, and Diesel LOVED the attention from the girls!!
We are on our way to Arizona to spend the 2nd weekend in a row with Derics biological Grandpa. It was a lot of fun last weekend to spend time with them. It was my first time actually spending more than 5 minutes with them! Diesel is in heaven at their house! They also have 2 little dogs that he loves to play with and annoy! Grandpa Al bought a new york style hot dog stand and sells them at big events and every weekday at a corner in the Maricopa area. We are going this weekend to help him sell them at the Salsa Festival in Maricopa,AZ. There will be upwards of 12,000 people. It will be pretty dang crazy but we are super excited to spend time with them and sell some dogs!!!!!
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